~Fantasy~

At Radiant Church last Sunday, the pastor spoke about the supernatural and physical realms, and focused briefly on the human fascination with the supernatural and fantasy. This small snippet piqued my interest, mostly due to Jason being so into fantasy and it reminding me of how I "categorize" people who are really into fantasy.

Then I realized, agreeing with the pastor, that really, most people are really into fantasy to some degree or another.

We all imagine something more, something greater (at least, most of us do). We imagine things unseen, things more powerful than what we experience in our everyday lives. We imagine new creatures, magical powers, new worlds, and they capture our imaginations and give our hearts hope and adventure we crave in the everyday life.

God promises us this adventure and satisfies our longings for something greater. Or at least, He should. I know I fall far short of allowing the Truth of His word to capture my heart and imagination the way exciting stories and movies do. I just find it funny how we sit in this world, allowing our minds and hearts to be captivated by new, imaginary worlds when God has promised us a REAL one, a real one that will be entirely revealed in the future. In His Word He gives us snippet views of that world (all over Revelation and other prophecy-containing books of the Bible). We even get brand new bodies. We'll never have longings or fears or sadness again... in God there is hope because of Jesus.

Yet even we Christian believers often get caught up in the fantasy of this world, feeling a longing for something more. God created us with that longing--it is natural--but He wants to be the fulfiller of that. There is nothing wrong with enjoying fantasy and made-up worlds in our imagination, but I think when we do not intentionally let God fill us, give Him the first seat in captivating our imaginations, we not only cut Him down but ourselves as well. We deny ourselves that for which we were created. And much as I hate to admit it, I think it's a fine line to walk.

I'm not going to stop enjoying fantasy. But I think I'm going to try to be more intentional about letting the "fantasy" that is REALITY, what God has promised us in the future, the ULTIMATE adventure, captivate my heart above anything I can find here on this earth.

After all, isn't the story always the same? Good vanquishes evil. We know the ending because it's plastered all over history, all over narratives..... it's buried inherently in our hearts. God placed that there and it leads us to Him. He wins, so we win if we're on His side. In the greatest battle of all, We win. And it's still an adventure in the making, even with the ending having already been decided on the cross.

Stress

Stress.

It has pervaded my life for much of the past year. It drives me crazy, makes me worried and irritable and difficult to get along with at times.

I've had stress about jobs, money, relationships, friendships, living situations, just about everything. More than I can name.

But what I've realized on and off, but more and more strongly, is how much I let it affect me. Much, much more than I should.

My relationship with Jason especially suffers when I am stressed, and when we are both stressed, it is much worse. Suddenly every little thing seems to go wrong. A look on the face, a sigh, a particular tiny decision, tone of voice, or simple mistake or misunderstanding. The tiny things can blow up into big fights that make little sense and operate mostly out of confusion. Then fear trickles back in and grows in strength. Then more worry and doubt set in on top of whatever was originally there and the cycle not only continues but strengthens.

God has really put on my heart to be in control of my thoughts and emotions when I'm stressed and exhausted. And I have been a LOT lately. Jason being stressed has not helped but I forget to take that into account and give him the benefit of the doubt. I need to do that much more often. I need to learn to very clearly state that I need to cool off and quiet my mind before continuing a discussion that is getting heated, because when I am stressed especially, I just get confused and emotional and things get out of hand.

I need to remember to put Jason's needs first and keep them in mind, and remember that he has good intentions. He does not WANT to hurt me and does not mean to. He is dealing with a lot right now and I need to be his helper and love him strongly through it even when I'm stressed myself.

Stress really sucks, but I do not want to let it rule me. There are far greater things at stake that need my heart's attention.