With Great Power...

"But you will receive power when the holy spirit comes upon you..."

Acts 1:8

Recently Jason convinced me to watch the Spiderman movies. Much to my initial chagrin, but I enjoyed them despite the rampant cheesy-ness. :) A common theme prevails in the Spiderman story: "With great power comes great responsibility." Peter Parker constantly feels the need to sacrifice his own desires for the needs of people around him, because of the great power that has been bestowed upon him.

Recently I have realized that I, as a Christ follower, have a similar responsibility. If I truly belong to the Lord, then I have his holy spirit living inside of me.

"Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the holy spirit, who is in you, who you have received from God?"

1 Corinthians 6:19

The holy spirit is God living in me. That's POWER. And how do I live my life, with such great power residing in me? Well, I guess the better question is how SHOULD I be living my life with such great power residing in me. :) It hit me this morning how I have a huge responsibility. My every word and action is a testament to He who is in me, He who made me, He who saved me. I have a responsibility to honor Him in my words and actions--and even in my thoughts.

""Who can hide in secret places so that I cannot see them? Declares the Lord. "Do I not fill heaven and earth?" Declares the Lord."

Jeremiah 23:24

I can see this as a burden, or as a blessing. When I'm in sin, it sure feels like a burden. But then there is forgiveness. God calls us to perfection even though He knows we cannot attain it until He returns to establish His kingdom for eternity. And because of that He let Jesus die and pay the penalty for the times I mess up. Thank God! Because I mess up a lot.

What I've noticed recently though, is that when God is using me (He began using me again when my heart was truly willing), I find joy in being a light for Him. I find joy in being refined even by great fires and becoming a better, stronger, healthier Christ follower as a result. And that bleeds into every aspect of my life. It feels me with joy despite grievous circumstances or difficult trials. God's given me His Word so that I know what's right and wrong in His eyes and He even bailed me out of the punishments of screwing up, before I was even born to make a mistake. ("for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God..." Romans 3:23) That's love. That's grace.

And THAT is what I need to demonstrate in my life toward others.

"One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: "Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?"

Jesus replied, "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. ' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'"

Matthew 22:35-39

If I'm following those two commandments, then I'm living my life as God intends and it will glorify Him. These commandments summarize so much of the scriptures and "rules" God wants us to live by (for our own good). With great power comes great responsibility. And with that power living in me I feel up to the challenge.

Moving Backwards

Often times people think of moving backwards as a bad thing. Recently, I've been trying to move "backwards" in positive ways! I want to lessen distractions in my life and "simplify". I think these are the Footsteps that God wants me to follow right now, because ultimately it leads to a better focus on Him.

What are some steps on that journey?

They involve all different aspects of my life: emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual.

One thing I have been learning lately is how to cook on my own. I've learned to bake my own bread, make my own cheese sauce (and thus homemade mac n cheese!), and a lot of other cooking that I never thought I could do! Jason and I eat out SO much less, which is so much better for our health! The fact that we are losing weight is quite motivational in the process as well. :) This improves my life:

1. physically, because I am putting better things into my body and also losing weight

2. mentally because there is tremendous reward in enjoying the fruits of my labor!

3. emotionally: I enjoy learning new things and succeeding at them (even if it's not right away!)

4. spiritually: because by providing healthy meals and food for my husband I am obeying God's commands for wives by providing food for my family.

Another thing I have been trying to do is cut back my dependence on technology. I find that in my "idle" moments I'm often tempted to fill my time by browsing on Facebook, surfing the internet for interesting articles (which CAN be a good thing), turn on the TV for a show or a movie... on occasion I'm tempted to do something good like read, but at the same time I look around my small home and notice how easily it gets cluttered. How many things need doing. And sometimes that makes me want to watch a movie MORE, because it is overwhelming. More and more though I remember the Lord's words in Proverbs 31:27, "She watches over the affairs of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness." Those are convicting words. It's TOUGH, as a wife, to fulfill my duty to my husband and home by keeping it clean and good food on the table AND work 2 jobs. Jason helps where he can but he works much more than I do. And so I need to let myself be stretchable and trust that the Lord will make me sufficient by His grace. And in the end, there are few better things than sitting down to relax with a snack and a good book after a few hours cleaning up the apartment!
This improves my life:

1. physically: I get exercise while I am up and about getting things done! Much more than being a couch potato!

2. mentally: It's stimulating to be up doing things rather than a couch potato. My mind feels more fresh and I don't get as many headaches!

3. emotionally: again being up moving around keeps my mind busy and keeps my mind from wandering to subjects which only bring me down.

4. spiritually: again I'm directly obeying one of God's commands by keeping my home a safehaven for my family!

Future goals for providing for my family, saving money, and leading a happier, healthier, more God-focused lifestyle include:

growing my own garden

keeping a steady monthly budget

getting rid of debts

learning new skills such as changing the oil in a car

Spending more REGULAR time getting to know the Lord.

...and anything else I can think of. :)

Photo Challenge-Day 4

Day 4 - A picture of your favourite night

This wasn't technically a night but it was getting near sunset so... .:) it was just a fun date :)

Photo Challenge-Day 3

Day 3 - A picture of the cast of your favourite show

Very, very tough! I do so love a lot of shows. :) I still think my top favorite is....

Followed closely by 2 other shows, the first an older favorite and the second I've only been

recently introduced to and love:

Photo Challenge-Day 2

Day 2 - a photo of you and the person you have been closest to the longest

This is me and one of my closest friends, Melva! She's like a sister to me. we've known each other for about 11 years now, and no matter how long it is between being apart or together we always have a good time. :)

Photo Challenge

My friend and future sister Bekah has been doing the photo challenge so I decided to do it too. :) It seems fun and insightful. I'll probably end up missing days since I'm planning my wedding among a million other things but I'll try to do my best. :D

Day 1 - a photo of you and 10 facts

1. I'd just gotten my hair cut when this picture was taken in 2009.

2. The first three guys I dated were all born in July 1985. No, that wasn't intentional.

3. I love cheeseburgers and fries.

4. I'm attempting to be a distance runner. Jury is still out on the success of this venture.

5. I speak Czech best of all the languages I've attempted learning.

6. Speaking of Czech, I've spent about 6 cumulative months in that country and can't wait to go back.

7. I'm empathetic to a fault. I easily take on the emotions and attitudes of those around me--or even in a book I'm reading or a movie I'm watching.

8. I got my degree in music education, but despite my enjoyment of teaching kids, I'd rather pursue my own photography business.

9. My heart is forever torn between California and Colorado. I love the snowy mountains and mountain fresh air here in Colorado but I also love breathing deeply the perfect humidity of southern California, its flowery scents, and being at the beach on a warm day.

10. My beta fish, Hibiscus, is old. Really old, for a beta. He's just passing 5 years in age--meaning 5 years since he came to live with me, which means he's older than that. He should've died about 3 years ago. He will probably finally die when I finally clean his tank. :P

The Masquerade

Yesterday, I was reminiscing about a lot of things. Particularly some hard times I've experienced in the past few years, and the sin that happened in those times. It hurt my heart to remember those times of sin, and led me to send up some more apologies and remorse to the Lord, who has thankfully forgiven me of those sins.

On my way home from work, the song "Stained Glass Masquerade" by Casting Crowns came on. (On my playlist, because most radio stations won't play it! ) This song resonates profoundly with my heart, as Jason and I left a church we used to love this past year because of the lack of Christ-like love and an excess of misplaced judgment. I thought about what those people (many of them, anyway), and even people I call friends now who do not know about some of my past sins, would think of me, if they'd still love me, if they'd cast me out of their lives. Sadly, I believe some of them would.

Few people know about some of those sins, and truth be told only one of them was truly judgmental and condemning of it. Thankfully that person is no longer a part of my life. But I fear others might follow in his footsteps.

"...would it set me free

if I dared to let you see

the truth behind the person

that you imagine me to be

would your arms be open

or would you walk away?

or would the love of Jesus

be enough to make you stay?"

I hope that when we find a new church family we'll find people who are authentic. People who are open. People who are loving. People who don't judge without seeking the truth first. There are sins in my past that still hurt me to remember. Sins that I'm afraid to confess to any but the most trusted and closest of friends. (Thank the Lord my fiance is among them).

"Is there anyone that fails?

Is there anyone that falls?

Am I the only one in church today

feeling so small?

Cause when I take a look around

everybody seems so strong

I know they'll soon discover

that I don't belong....

So I tuck it all away

like everything's okay

if I make 'em all believe it

maybe I'll believe it too...

so with a painted grin

I'll play the part again

so everyone will see me

the way that I see them!"

I want to be real... authentic me, the good bad and ugly... I wish there were more believers I could open up to genuinely, who would understand and be there without so much judgment. Especially post-repentance. That'd be nice.