Friends and Trust

This right here, is a beautiful picture of friendship. Yeah, it's from a movie. I happen to love this movie, but that has little to do with what I want to write about. But it does serve as an excellent illustration.



Hiccup and Toothless demonstrate important principles of friendship in this special scene. It makes me almost tear up every time I watch it, because it is so profound. There is so much trust between these two, who were once enemies. As they grow closer, Hiccup wants to touch Toothless. He knows this is a sign of trust, and he repeatedly reaches out to the dragon to demonstrate his trust for the fire-breathing beast. But Toothless has been hurt, and repeatedly pulls away, often shaking his head as he retreats, with a look saying quite clearly, "what are you doing?! He hurt me before... he can't be trusted."

But Hiccup is persistent. He is not pushy, but patient, gentle and understanding. He continues to spend time with Toothless, getting to know him, showing him love and understanding. Toothless's wall slowly comes down, and more and more of his personality comes through, drawing the two closer together, until this moment happens.

At first, Hiccup reaches out for Toothless, as usual, and the dragon pulls back slightly, warning Hiccup. This is when he realizes that he needs to let Toothless be the one to reach out. He turns his head and closes his eyes, saying without words, "I'm here if you want me. I trust you, and I hope you are ready to trust me." Toothless could bite off Hiccup's hand. He could also simply run away again. But I think this demonstration of trust actually surprises the dragon a little. He slowly moves toward Hiccup and places his nose into the boy's hand.

Despite the fact that Toothless pulls away and retreats again after Hiccup's eyes catch his once more, this is a turning point in their friendship. If they were going to have a relationship, there had to be trust. There had to be a crossroads--move forward separately, or together. I'm glad they chose to trust. They had so many reasons not to.

Even more deep, I think our relationship with God can be illustrated here. I believe in a God I cannot see, even though I believe there is evidence for Him around everywhere, every day. In a way, we are like Hiccup in reaching our hand blindly to Him and trusting Him to take care of us, not to harm us, to be our friend (although He is also a God to be feared and revered; a fitting analogy with a fire-breathing dragon with a mouth full of teeth). Sometimes we choose to trust, not knowing what is going to happen. If we didn't..... there wouldn't be friendships. People wouldn't trust each other, help each other. The world would be even more full of suspicion, doubt, and hopelessness than it already is.

Friendships, and any relationship for that matter, are about taking a chance. I've been hurt by many people I've called friends. Sometimes, those relationships break. But I believe God means for them to be healed in most cases. He is a God of relationship and created us for that. He doesn't like broken relationships (that's why He sent Jesus to fix our relationship with Him!). We're sinful people. We're going to hurt each other. If we live in fear of being hurt, we're just going to be alone, and even more hurt. I choose to accept that people I care about are going to hurt me, that I'm going to hurt them. I also choose to do my best to own up to my mistakes, apologize when I hurt someone, and do my best to mend broken relationships. I choose to trust people who have hurt me, and who I know have better intentions than it may seem, and to forgive and move forward. I choose to not let fear rule me, but to let God's love guide me and my heart and change the way I treat other people more and more.

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility, consider others as better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interest of others."
-Philippians 2:3-4

Putting others first is a risk. It means I may not get what I want. It means I may get hurt. But it's what God commands, and I know it makes me happy when I do it, even if it is sometimes uncomfortable. I want to live by this command more and more.

"People of God"

Taking a lil break from Ephesians... just because I had a thought as I was driving and a comment was made on the radio using the phrase "people of God", and also because I left my Ephesians notebook at home. :) Oops. (I am in Lamar on a short business trip.)

Sometimes WayFM plays a clip from a mom that called in, expressing her gratitude for some of the guys on the radio who are good role models for her son and his friends to live as "people of
God".

People of God... I know this has been given many definitions over time, anywhere from simply calling the Jewish people the people of God, because they are God's chosen people, to the meaning I find most profound, people who are living their lives for their Savior.

When I think of the phrase "people of God", it sounds like such a very big thing to be, and I feel so very small. I feel very sinful, and that I have a long way to go. This is definitely true, but I know I shouldn't feel as discouraged as I do. Feeling small before God is probably the right way to feel, as long as I'm not afraid to approach Him in humility, giving Him my sins and accepting His forgiveness. I think it's appropriate to feel small.

I have such a long way to go. I have so many sins to overcome, by the power of the Holy Spirit. That road is only going to look longer and longer as I get older, ironically. I think I know to check myself if the road every truly looks shorter... because if I'm becoming more like God, I should be increasingly aware of sin. The fine line there is to not become overwhelmed by sin and let it bring me down.

I want to live a life worthy of what God has done for me. I know that's technically impossible but I want to strive for it anyway. I want to be a person of God. I want to cut all the CRAP out of my life and let God turn it into something BEAUTIFUL...

Ephesians 3:12

Ephesians 3:12--In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence.

I love this verse. It epitomizes everything I desire in my relationship with God that feels difficult to grasp right now.

The key words for me in this verse are FREEDOM and CONFIDENCE. These are two things I rarely feel when approaching God, which is why I believe He stuck this verse onto my heart with metaphorical gorilla glue. I find that I approach God timidly, fearfully (not the right kind of fear, but scared-fear), not with complete trust and confidence.

The problem is, I have EVERY reason to approach Him in freedom and confidence. Jesus died for every little thing (and big thing) I do wrong, and when I ask God's forgiveness He takes it away, 100%. So why fear? It's done and gone. He's not sitting there continuing to shake His head in sad disappointment. He's not pushing me away. He's sitting there welcoming me into His loving arms, waiting to dote on my heart some more with His limitless grace and mercy.

I'm not entirely certain why this concept is so difficult to immerse my heart in and believe wholeheartedly. I know I tend to live in fear too much, and it's tough to break out of fear when it gains a stronghold. But I am determined, by the power of the Spirit of God, to keep this truth in my mind and heart until it takes hold more strongly and becomes my natural reaction to God--to approach Him in freedom and confidence rather than in fear.

Consumerism.... and Change

I really want to grow in the Lord and change for the better. I just struggle with feeling down and depressed when there seem to be so many obstacles and difficulties. I'm not naive enough to believe it will just be easy and effortless, although my sinful human nature would like to believe so.

In one moment, I will feel the power of the Spirit working in me to overcome obstacles and a fierce determination. But I think then I start relying on my own power instead of God's.

For instance. Consumerism. I'm not THAT big of a shopper; I do not have a credit card even, I don't just enjoy spending hours shopping. I do, however, sometimes enjoy shopping. There are certain things I really enjoy spending money on, like DVDs, books, and vacations (though the last of those is a rarity). I tend to be impulsive, which God has convicted me a lot on lately. If I want something and have the money in my account, it's tough for me to say no. Although, I think I've improved on that a great deal.
What drives me most insane are moments like this, right now. I'm sitting here, observing all the heaping clutter I possess, wondering how I end up with so much "stuff" that I do not need or use. And yet I find myself going out and buying more?! It drives me nuts.

The underlying conclusion in all that, is that I need to be a better steward of my financial resources. A much better one. I need to choose what I spend money on wisely, so that I can build a better financial foundation for the future (haha good alliteration) and be better prepared to be a responsible wife and mother. Those are awesome thoughts, but so much more difficult to put into practice. I suck at budgeting (especially since I have an inconsistent job), and I suck at taking the time even to plan good meals in advance so I'm not buying fast food when I'm too tired to cook. There's another problem-I need to plan ahead!

In general, I see sooo many things in my life I want to change, and I can't do it without God's help. I still have a lot to learn about seeking Him and leaning on Him to rely on HIS strength and HIS power. I feel helpless in that area right now. If you're reading this, please pray. I want to be a woman after God's own heart, and I feel distant from that goal right now.

Ephesians 2:14

This weekend, while camping in the beautiful mountains of Rocky Mountain National Park, God put a lot of verses on my mind and convictions in my heart. My next few blog entries will center around those things, especially as I follow the conviction to give my life over to Him much more fully than I have been.

Ephesians 2:14 (TNIV): For he himself is our peace, who has made the two one [referring to the Jews and Gentiles] and has destroyed the barrier.

The biggest word which stands out to me in this passage is PEACE. HE is our PEACE. That means He is supposed to be MY peace, too.

Something I realize often and yet have much difficulty in changing is the lack of peace in my heart. I think this is primarily caused by me constantly acting on impulse in all sorts of things, by relying on my emotions and acting and thinking based upon them, and not fully trusting God to take care of me. I know those are incorrect and even sinful things, but they are still difficult to change. In Christ I can know all the peace of God because He, the great God of the entire universe, cared enough to die for me.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, present your requests to God. And the PEACE of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:13-14

I will have that peace from God, Christ being my peace, when I choose to give my anxieties and fears to Him, and trust in Him.

"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." Hebrews 11:1

Now THAT is a tough verse for a human to follow. Trusting what is unseen? Ha! We as people RELY on what we can see. Mostly, anyway. But God calls us to something bigger, trusting in what we cannot see--Himself included--this is called FAITH. I need to have greater Faith that when I give my worries and fears to God, He WILL fill me with peace beyond what I can comprehend and He WILL take care of me! When I place my faith and trust in Him completely, He will prove Himself beyond measure.

That all sounds scary, even after I type it, but I know it's true. So that's going to be my greatest focus for tomorrow. Working on simply trusting God and having faith in Him, letting Him fill me with peace about the things I worry about by giving them into His hands.