Stress.
It has pervaded my life for much of the past year. It drives me crazy, makes me worried and irritable and difficult to get along with at times.
I've had stress about jobs, money, relationships, friendships, living situations, just about everything. More than I can name.
But what I've realized on and off, but more and more strongly, is how much I let it affect me. Much, much more than I should.
My relationship with Jason especially suffers when I am stressed, and when we are both stressed, it is much worse. Suddenly every little thing seems to go wrong. A look on the face, a sigh, a particular tiny decision, tone of voice, or simple mistake or misunderstanding. The tiny things can blow up into big fights that make little sense and operate mostly out of confusion. Then fear trickles back in and grows in strength. Then more worry and doubt set in on top of whatever was originally there and the cycle not only continues but strengthens.
God has really put on my heart to be in control of my thoughts and emotions when I'm stressed and exhausted. And I have been a LOT lately. Jason being stressed has not helped but I forget to take that into account and give him the benefit of the doubt. I need to do that much more often. I need to learn to very clearly state that I need to cool off and quiet my mind before continuing a discussion that is getting heated, because when I am stressed especially, I just get confused and emotional and things get out of hand.
I need to remember to put Jason's needs first and keep them in mind, and remember that he has good intentions. He does not WANT to hurt me and does not mean to. He is dealing with a lot right now and I need to be his helper and love him strongly through it even when I'm stressed myself.
Stress really sucks, but I do not want to let it rule me. There are far greater things at stake that need my heart's attention.
1 comment:
You're absolutely right. Satan loves it when he can get to us through stress. It can tear relationships apart. Sometimes God's way (putting others' needs above your own) is the hardest thing to put into action, but it always yields the best results.
We've been stressed, too. Last week I let it get to me far too much. I've already started focusing on Daniel's needs and serving him more than I'm dwelling on my own stressors and I'm already seeing the positive results. It's amazing what God can do in selflessness.
Love you, miss you, and praying for you! :)
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